Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
