I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
