if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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