So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
