i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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