i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
