even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
