If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
