and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
