dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
