My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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