you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
