haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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