we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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