Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
