I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
