i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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