Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
