SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
