An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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