i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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