Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I am available for nakedness
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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