You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
