do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
