You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
