i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
