weddingsv make me drug and hornr
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Pants are for mortals
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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