I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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