i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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