You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
