I wish I could teleport
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
