Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
