They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
