May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
