do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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