$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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