I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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