I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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