It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i came on her dog
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
