I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
