You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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