i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
