Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
