can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
