The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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