with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
