I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
