My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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