Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
