my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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