I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I wear drunk well.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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