If that was your dad, he is hot
It's Friday. Sex?
that's an acceptable place to lick
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
