I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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