Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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