How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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