At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
