Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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