when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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