So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
