took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
