"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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